Kristýna Mihmanlı
Don't Be Judgemental /article/we_are_all_judgemental
Sat, 10 Mar 2018 10:49:11 +0000

We live in a shell. We can define it as our brain, our body or our social circle, but it is a shell. It is such a pity that we have such limited sight, because the world contains nets and relationships of amazing and terrifying information which would make us understand so many things and reactions. Only with knowledge we can judge and make the right decisions and even when it is impossible to absorb all information available, we have to try to absorb as much as possible to judge with the best intention. Because if we judge without knowledge, it is only our decision and our harm to the results.

And yet people are judgemental (understand judgemental as non-empathetic judging without full knowledge of the situation). They love judging others according to their appearance. It is so easy, because their destiny is clear, their past is clear. But we should learn that nothing is clear. Nothing is black and white.

If we do not know the background of the case well, we should live and decide in a way that the object is not clear and done. The things around us are constantly open. Not only because everything is constantly changing, but there is always something we don’t know about the person/situation/thing.

But we like thinking that we know the best. Because we know so much – which is our feeling from the fact that we are the ones knowing about everything that is in our brain. And from the others we know only about the upper layer that they reveal to the world.

But think about that we are all equal. We all want the same. We have our minor differences which we were born with or the surroundings taught us, but after all we all want someone to love us and to love someone, we want to be somehow successful, we want to achieve something, no matter if we are achieving career as lawyers, having big healthy family, traveling all countries in the world or just having a happy calm life. Think about this when you see someone walking on the street in clothes that you don’t like. Think about it when you decide that someone is bad based on his piercing. Yes, of course, there are deviations. There are people that have black thoughts. But honestly, those we usually don’t recognize easily. Let’s think about it next time before we judge based on the first impression.

Two groups that we love judging nowadays are homeless people and from the broader picture Muslims.

Did you know that a big number of homeless people are homeless because they are not able to take care of themselves due to psychical problems?

As for the other group - Hands up who read Quran and hands up who read Bible (and remembers them, I don’t mean that mandatory reading at school that you don’t remember anything from). So how much can you actually say about these religions? And I mean facts that you truly read by yourself and saw a Muslim doing personally with your own eyes.

There are about 1.8 billion Muslims worldwide which is about a quarter of the whole population, while we know about a few people that are vicious – maybe thousands – and based on them we decided to judge the rest. Like someone could judge you based on the fact that Hitler was white and you are as well. White people did harm, black people did harm, Christians did, Muslims did, but we can’t say the race or religion is bad for that, can we? The fact that your neighbour is a thief doesn’t make you a thief, because you live in the same building, and you wouldn’t be happy for being called one for this reason.

And about the fact that they have some ugly treatments written in Quran - In Bible, there are even worse treatments mentioned. We do not practice them in the 21st century anymore and they don’t as well. Some freaks that point them out don’t make it true for the rest.

When you decide to judge, be careful about the source of the knowledge, too. When someone tells you, something is written in Quran, he is possibly just using the fact that you didn’t read it – it is possibly not written there at all.

This is true for all media and all other cases. Media is an interesting source. Its owner can decide if they want to make a show or give true information. With time, people that have the knowledge to decide if the information is true or not either get to know it is a trustful media or those people that don’t have the knowledge to decide if it is true or not grab rather the paper with bigger advertisements. Basically, media can play with words to say almost anything if it is not illegal. And again, we are here by ourselves to decide if we want to judge based on their information or if we want to gain more knowledge to be able to distinguish if the news are fake or interpreted wrongly or not.

Being judgemental about these two groups is concerning only some percentage of people, but prejudice is concerning almost all of us in every day life.

Knowledge is our weapon to the false information and prejudice. Try to not judge without knowledge.

What to do to avoid being judgemental?

  1. Always get more information about the person. First, know the facts.
  2. Always remember your own mistakes and downturns. We all have done mistakes. That’s how we learn. People don’t deserve to be judged based on little deviations.
  3. Always take some time for your decision. We tend to be impulsive. Rather keep your comment for yourself and think about it, in certain situations just count to ten and breathe heavily. You don’t want to regret your reaction and be the worse person in the end.
  4. It is better to leave some situations without a comment. It is not worth. Further discussion can lead to uncomfortable clash without logical outcome. Usually, it is smarter to not intervene. Be the one who prevents inconvenient situations.
  5. Read trustful articles, read books, educate yourself. If you decide to have an opinion about a major topic, such as politics, law, immigration and others, read as much as you can throughout the time. Study the basics, the interconnections, the historical cases and the current situation. The information is changing, and your opinion can change with it. We get to know new views all the time. Just remember what is relevant, what is trustful and recognize what is just a populism.
  6. Travel and meet new people. Seeing different cultures in their natural environment and talking to people with different experience and different view is the most enriching part, which will give you the ability to look at things from above. But of course, even people around us have different point of view. Listen and try to understand and accept the differences.
  7. If you are unsure, try to think of an eligible educated person you admire – some public figure like Oprah Winfrey, or someone else that you identify yourself with – and think of how that person would probably react in this situation.
  8. Try to avoid being jealous – the person had to work hard to get where he/she is, even though it doesn’t look like, and also must go through ugly situations and periods of life. It is about how the person wants you to perceive him/her. And with hard work, you can also achieve anything you want.
  9. Not everything that you connect with bad personality is perceived that way by other people. These habits depend on place of origin and other factors.

Let’s not be harsh and let’s not regret our behaviour. Let’s not be judgmental. When we put our differences together, we can achieve great things.

Kristyna Mihmanli
Mon, 12 Mar 2018 21:55:21 +0000
Glad you like it guys, thanks for the support!
Mon, 12 Mar 2018 01:50:00 +0000
I really like the suggestions that emphasize on self-reflection. The worst comes out of us when we forget to think before acting. Love it!
Sun, 11 Mar 2018 08:42:49 +0000
Good write-up! Strong ideas
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