Our brains are very complicated things. They are containing of what we were born with and what we collected throughout our life paths. From those life paths, mostly it is behavior of our family imprinted on us, because the best memory we had in the first 5 years of our lives. The memory was different. We don’t remember our birth, our first step, or any other specific moments of our lives. But still our brain was programmed in a way that we sucked the patterns of behavior like a sponge.
The brain contains of different chemicals, neurotransmitters, receptors and our thinking is built on electro stimulations. This complicated system obviously works differently for everyone, one has more of this, one has more of that, and the reactions happen differently. That gives us the base. However, we often forget that the brain in practice is THIS. This what is reading the article right now, what brushes the teeth every day, what sleeps, what sees, what decides to love or hate, laugh or scream. All comes from the same place. From our head. But we still do things that we regret or things that we are sorry for. And often, we love blaming something else for those.
When we think about ourselves and why we do or don’t do things we say this is cause of our laziness, because we procrastinate, because we are explosive… It almost seems like we forget it is still us who decides about those steps. It is still our brain. If we want to have a university degree, but we don’t start studying soon enough to be able to study the subject enough, it is only our decision. There is not such a thing as “lazy”. There is us deciding not to study in full consciousness. Same with not doing exercises or not eating well and many other decisions.
The answer is simple. In that case, we don’t want the positive outcome enough. It is not us being lazy. It is us living in a bubble, going for something that we even don’t know what it is.
If we do such decisions, not to fulfill what we set earlier to do, it is wrong. It either means we are setting wrong goals for ourselves or we don’t know how to reach our goals. How can we be happy, if we keep wanting something and failing on the path to get it?
This is the cornerstone of happiness. It is the consciousness about our life as a whole and every moment in it. Only then, we can fall into the stage we would like to be in, be happy and enjoy life as we wish to.
We cannot reach any goals and be proud of ourselves if we don’t set any. This kind of goals must be of course reachable. We have to be completely knowledgeable about our stage and abilities and accept them as they are. After that we can set the person we would like to be – be it a good mother, good connecting article between people, someone who doesn’t harm the earth, good manager or anything else. We should have an image of who we want to be in our life, with which we need to accept that it will be changing over time, because it will, for all of us, with our experience, current stage we get in and knowledge. But no goals are reached without partial goals. Those need to be created along the way and our outer appearance is changing with them being accomplished. That is happening on the base of us being who we want to be, being conscious and being self-confident and happy about our accomplishments. These little goals, of course, can’t be big. We can’t become managers out of unexperienced students. But we can study more, we can spend more time with our loved ones, we can listen to others better. And these are the goals we need to start with. These are the goals that we blame other circumstances for. But if we really want to accomplish these, why do we really wait? What do we wait for?
Honestly, if we don’t go for them, it means we don’t want them enough. Because if we do, we don’t say “I will be…”. We say “I am …”. Imagine a situation of working out. Don’t say again “I will”. Tell yourself I am a sporty person from now on. Get your sweatpants on, go in front of a mirror and tell yourself “Oh hi, this is the girl/guy that goes to gym every day”. And if possible, share it with others. Tell your surroundings you are doing this, because even if it will be because you want to prove them wrong about that you can’t do it or because you will hear great words of support, it will kick you to keep your new routines happening.
Open your eyes and realize that you are the owner of your body and your brain. You are having the control panel in your hands and pushing the buttons. And if you want something, you should have been doing it since the day it came to your mind. That’s how it works. That’s how you will achieve your goals. Don’t plan. Do.